Twas’ The Night Before The Night Before Christmas…
Twas’ the night before the night before Christmas and all through my place
Not a single thing was stirring which put a smile on my face
The stockings were hung near the hallway with care
In hopes that iTunes gift cards would soon be placed there
The kiddos were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Xbox danced in their heads
Sticky in his warm fur and me in my boxers
Had just snuggled in after a long night of soccer
When out on the street there arose such a clatter
I jumped out of the bed and nearly emptied my bladder
Across the room I zipped to look out the window
But fell over some crap and stubbed my big toe
I peered out of the glass across a light snow dust
But my toe was still throbbing and I continued to cuss
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a fat old bastard on a Harley chugging a beer
I could tell through his beard all nappy and thick
That somehow some way I recognized this prick
He started to shout in a deep tone of voice
“GV is this your house? It’s my last choice!”
“I saw your band trailer and I’m not gonna leave…”
“…until I know where The Theory is playing New Years Eve!”
I yelled back in a total hostile fashion
The veins in my neck bulged with no passion
“Hey you drunk fool…don’t know where to look?”
“Stuff like that is always on Facebook!”
I tried to take a picture with my iPhone as he cracked open the throttle
But he sped away quickly tossing his empty bottle
I could faintly hear him as he rode out of site
“Merry Christmas to all and have a very groovy night!”
